


Crooked bunny teeth

by MultiFandomAngst



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Lydia can do magic, M/M, Stiles gets kidnapped again, Stiles is a BAMF, Time Travel, everyone is impressed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 14:31:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1608542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MultiFandomAngst/pseuds/MultiFandomAngst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles gets held for ransom by idiotic werewolves seven years ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crooked bunny teeth

**Author's Note:**

> This was an idea I came up with a long time ago and needed a break from my other behemeth of a fic about these two assholes so I popped this out in around five hours   
> Unbeta'd   
> No I don't own Teen Wolf, if I did there would be less dying and more Sterek

"Give me your land if you want him to live," the werewolf demanded, gesturing with his claws at Stiles whose hands were tied behind a tree.   
Stiles groaned dramatically, thumping his head against the tree, "That's not how you want to start out. Introduce yourself first. God, do I have to teach you how to negotiate a ransom?"   
One of the three betas that was dressed like a hipster snarled in his direction, never taking his eyes off the pack in front of them.   
The Hale pack in fact, seven years in the past. Talia Hale held herself with an aura of confidence that screamed alpha (she didn't have eyebrows in wolf form either), Peter at her right (wearing a terrifying, furry smile) and two other adults (male and female) that appeared to be human. A young Laura and Derek stood toward the back of the group, wearing their own wolf faces.  
"Who are you?" Talia demanded in return.   
"Introduction," Stiles hissed, but was ignored.  
"Give me your territory and I won't kill him."   
"The only one who is going to die is you," Peter said maliciously.  
After a moment of silence, "In the short time I've known him, I've decided to call him Anderson," Stiles supplied, "Always quick pull out but never living up to size."   
Apparently that was the last straw, the mountain of patience he had had since the moment they took Stiles was crumbling to a heap, the blue eyed beta turning around, (putting his back to a territorial and threatened pack, Stiles now ranked him as beyond stupid) and snarling in his face. "Shut up!"   
"No, I will not shut up," Stiles countered, voice raising to a shout, "You guys were the ones who dragged me along on this time traveling adventure, and you weren't even smart enough to check and make sure the people you were demanding ransom from knew who the hostage was!"  
The betas eyes widened slightly, 'What?!"  
"Do I need to spell it out for you? DEREK. DOESN'T. KNOW. WHO. I. AM. No idea. Notice how they aren't particularly concerned with my death? You have absolutely no upper hand on these people at all, cause I am virtually a STRANGER. Y'know I've dealt with a lot of idiotic werewolves but you guys are by far the stupidest."  
"We got you didn't we? And managed to go back in time," boasted the third beta.  
"Okay, first of all, you jumped me in the bathroom. There is absolutely no honor in that. Secondly, the wimpy ass mage you have probably didn't even survive casting the spell and the only reason we're still alive is because Lydia is holding it together."   
And the Hales? They just stood there in the sunshine. Wolfed out, ready to fight, staring at a human, yes human, mouthing off to a werewolf who could easily kill him  
"You ran here all half cocked without a plan, thinking you're all big and bad. And now if this pack doesn't kill you, mine will."  
The lead beta snarled, raising his claws, "Then you're worth nothing dead or alive."  
Too bad Stiles had been finished sawing through the flimsy rope they tied him up with since he stopped shouting to cover the noise. A fist full of wolfsbane and chili powder hit the werewolf directly in the eyes, sending him careening backwards howling. The other two betas froze, stuck now between a standing Stiles, and a pack of shocked werewolves.   
"C'mon puppies," Stiles taunted, "got a treat for you."   
Following their leaders screams of 'Kill him! Kill him!' they attacked, fangs bared and claws deadly. Ducking a few swipes, Stiles quickly sliced open each of their arms with his little pocketknife, them dropping like flies seconds later. Two inches really was enough apparently.  
"Hurts like a bitch, don't it?" Stiles asked the werewolf still flailing around on the ground, before casually stabbing him too, "Now see, I'm just gonna let you sit and suffer for a bit. I'm an asshole like that."   
Turning back to the remaining werewolves, Stiles grinned, "Kanima venom. A humans best friend."   
"Who are you?" Talia asked.   
"Just a guy from the future who continually gets kidnapped by stupid ass supernatural entities. Sorry about all of this."   
Peering through the mess of people, Stiles spotted baby faced!Derek and gaped, "Dude, you have the cutest ears ever!"  
They quickly turned pink. Combined with the slightly crooked bunny teeth Stiles felt like he was gonna fall over.   
"I so deserve the right to be mad at you about this when I get back. Remember that," Stiles pointed for serious effect, "Seven years from now one day I'm gonna go missing and you're gonna know what happened, and when I get back you have to listen about how unfair it is you met me a long time ago and never told me."   
He paused for a second, "Although seriously, never mention this to me when we do meet, alright? That would mess stuff up."   
Derek nodded hesitantly, looking back and forth between Stiles and the frozen werewolves.   
"So, any tips about the future?" Laura asked casually.   
Stiles hesitated, then pointed at Peter, "He's gonna need some counseling."   
"I was thinking lottery numbers."  
"You wish," Stiles laughed.   
"What's your name?" Talia rephrased.   
Stiles wondered if it was dangerous to answer, except he's just ten in this year and won't be going by Stiles until he was twelve. "I'm Stiles."  
All of a sudden there was a low grumble, followed by what felt like a mini earthquake.   
"Did I break the universe by telling you my name?" Stiles asked a little frantically.   
A manhole sized spot to the left of Stiles shone brightly for a second, then faded into an all black hole.  
"Hello?" he asked slowly, peering down into the hole.   
"Stiles!" came the voice of Scott, "Good to know you're alive."   
"I'm so happy you had such faith in my abilities," Stiles replied sarcastically, "Y'know this isn't the first time I've been abducted by werewolves."   
"Or the last," Scott agreed.  
"Quit messing around. It isn't easy holding this thing open!" Lydia snapped sounding farther away the Scott.  
"Uh guys, this thing looks like it leads to the pits of hell," Stiles said, hesitantly sticking his finger through the blackness. He yanked it back when he felt a pair of teeth bite down on the tip.  
"Ow, Erica! You just bit me in the past!"   
"Shut up and get your ass back here," she replied.   
"Fine. Human-nappers are coming first."   
With the help of the original Hale pack the three paralyzed (and heavy as fuck) werewolves were thrown down the hole in record time.   
"Package received?"   
"Yes."  
"Well, this was fun, hope it never happens again," Stiles joked, facing the people who were going to be dead in the next year.   
"The kidnappings or time traveling?"   
"Both would be great."  
"Come on, Stiles!" Lydia shouted.  
Glancing one last time at the family, Stiles turned to face the hole.   
"Goodbye," he whispered before jumping in, the whole world turning black. When he opened his eyes again he was on his back in the woods, staring up at Scott.   
"Did somebody kiss me?" he asked horrified.   
"No one wants to kiss your ugly mug," Jackson said smirking from above him.   
"I beg to differ," Derek interjected, causing everyone to roll their eyes.  
"Aww, thanks boo," Stiles said fondly.   
"So they took you back in time? Why?" Scott asked.   
"Cause they wanted to use me to get this territory before everything goes to shit. Thought intimidating the alpha, who was but a wee lad at the time, would be the best way to do it."   
Dodging a kick of leaves from Derek, Stiles sat up to find Lydia leaning up against a tree, still looking perfect despite the fact she just held open a portal to seven years in the past.  
"Thanks for saving me, Lyds."   
She smiled, flipping her hair back, "You owe me some Chinese for that."   
"Oh, of course. I get kidnapped and then have to pay for food."   
A pitiful groan came from the pile of werewolves.  
"What are we gonna do with them?" Scott asked.  
"Them and their friend broke a lot of laws with that spell," Deaton said, coming out of the shadows like a creeper, "there will be consequences."  
"I'm all for that," Stiles agreed, standing and brushing the leaves from his pants, "I'm also all for some pizza. And curly fries."   
Everyone agreed to food, about five different kinds (Lydia and Allison wanted chinese, Jackson, Boyd and Scott hamburgers, Issac sushi, Erica and Derek italian, and Stiles a Hawian pizza with curly fries), but vetoed Stiles' offer to get it because quote, 'He smells like burnt egg salad and they don't want that getting on their food' unquote.   
So at the loft Stiles was sent to take a shower while Issac and Scott guarded the door for the deliveries. Derek, on the other hand, joined Stiles shortly after he scrubbed himself clean, a welcomed action.   
"I wanted to tell them," Stiles muttered, staring at Derek's broad chest as Derek massaged shampoo into his hair.   
"I could tell. We all heard you say goodbye."   
"What happened after I left?" Stiles asked, letting Derek tip his head back into the spray.   
"Mom said we deserved spaghetti after all that had happened. She made me help. Told me to make sure I take good care of you in the future. Everyone was really impressed that you managed to take down three werewolves that quickly."   
Stepping out into the steamy room Stiles worked up the nerve to ask, "Did you ever hate me? When you realized I could have stopped them from dying and didn't say anything."   
Derek froze, then grabbed two towels and bundled one around Stiles, "At first I wanted to. I realized a few months after it happened you must have known. I was angry. But Laura made me realize something," Derek stepped closer, now inches away from Stiles, "If you had told us, the entire future would have changed. We wouldn't have ever been able to meet the Stiles we did. Or have a pack strong enough to go back in time. So no, I don't hate you. I never did."   
Stiles wrapped his arms around Derek shoulders, burying his head in his neck as Derek circled his arms around his waist.   
"You had the cutest ears."   
Derek chuckled, pulling back to leave a lingering kiss on his lips, a promise for more later, "Foods here."   
"Mmm, but you're here now. All nice," Stiles reached down to grab a handful of Derek's butt, "and wet."   
"I thought you were gonna be mad at me and all that."  
"Tomorrow."  
"No hot curly fries then."  
"On second thought," Stiles quickly dried off then walked to Derek's room with the towel around his waist.   
"Nice to know curly fries come first," Derek said, following behind and pushing Stiles away from the dresser.   
Stiles pulled on the shirt of Derek's and a pair of his sweatpants before coming up behind Derek to whisper in his ear, "No, don't worry, you'll be the first one to come tonight."   
Stiles had to run to his food before it got cold.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are welcome!


End file.
